The Benefits of an Open Horizon in Therapy
People often come into therapy wanting to work on a particular issue that is painful, difficult, or confusing. They may feel anxious about a looming career choice, or anxiety may be getting in the way of work projects of their creative flow at work. They may feel their anxiety rearing up in their relationships with partners, family members, or loved ones. There are many ways that anxiety can get in the way of experiencing particular joys and satisfactions in life. Naturally, when you feel anxious about a particular issue, when you feel anxious in a specific part of your life, you may seek therapy to help ameliorate that stress and pain. And therapy is wonderful as a way of addressing specific anxieties. We can work together to better understand these issues or experiences that feel stressful and painful and support you in finding relief.
At the same time, as we go, you may find your mind drifting elsewhere—sometimes to feelings and experiences that seem to have nothing to do with the specific reason you came into therapy. For example, we may be talking about stress you feel in your relationship with your partner, or about the anxiety you feel around parenting, or about your creative concerns. And then there’s a moment where the conversation ebbs, and you glance out the window to the garden beyond, and in that brief silence a memory comes up that seems unrelated. Maybe you remember a conversation you had with your sister several years ago. Maybe you remember something from childhood. Maybe what comes up for you is less a specific memory than a feeling. “Why am I thinking or feeling this?” you think. Part of you thinks that the thought or feeling that came up is a distraction from the task at hand, so you may push it aside and look to get back to talking about the specific issue that brought you into therapy to begin with.
And it’s fine to stick with the issue you would like to address. Sometimes that can be exactly what’s called for. But it can also be worthwhile to allow other thoughts and feelings to emerge in therapy, and for us to explore these together. I think of this as having an open horizon therapy. In many cases, the thoughts and feelings that come up may be connected to the issues that brought you into therapy, even if the connections aren’t clear at first. Allowing yourself the freedom to notice and explore other thoughts and feelings as they emerge can help us to understand your anxiety in the larger context of who you are as a human being, in the context of your broader life experiences current and past, your joys and sorrows, disappointments and dreams. And this process can support alleviating your anxiety in deeper and more lasting ways.
As with everything in therapy, we can explore all of this together. In the example I mentioned of the moment of silence where you might glance out the window toward the garden, and other thoughts and feelings come up—maybe you aren’t sure whether you want to talk about them or not. Maybe you feel torn between sticking to a specific focus, and moving through the other feelings that are emerging. Maybe the feelings that are coming up feel difficult to talk about right now. On the other hand, it may feel wonderful to give yourself permission to talk about whatever is emerging, without feeling the need to keep yourself on a particular subject. Any of this is fine—and we can talk about all of it as we go and find the way together. One of the beauties of therapy is that there is no one right way for the process to unfurl. There are many pathways to feeling less anxious, more emotionally at ease, and fulfilled in life.
If you are feeling anxious and would like to explore how anxiety therapy can help, including the experience of an open horizon, I invite you to contact me at (510) 500-9722.